Ranty blog

As I type this, my phone sits open between myself and the keyboard, as static-y classical hold music cuts in and out and I hear an occasional computer-generated voiceover saying "Please hold, and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received". This soundtrack has been playing in my ears for the past hour. I am on hold with a billing department, sitting in my swimsuit, because I had planned on going swimming an hour ago but wanted to take care of this first.

The back story: if you'll recall back to the early days of my pregnancy, when I was leaning over the toilet begging for death at least once an hour, my doctor finally suggested at-home nursing care, a solution that I accepted with glee (well, as much glee as I could muster, having not eaten anything in three weeks). A nurse came out, hooked me up to an IV and a pump of anti-nausea medication, and within a week I was feeling almost 100% better. My daily phone calls in to report to my assigned nurse never took more than 5 minutes. A few weeks later, I was able to stop the pump altogether and I've been fine ever since.

Then the bill came.

I wasn't surprised by the bill, I knew it would be a sizable one. The paper had instructions to either send a check or fill in the credit card information on the stub, and send it in to the provided address. I followed these instructions, giving them our credit card information, and didn't give it a second thought. Until about a month later, when the second notice for the bill came. After tracking down the original bill (because the first bill had a different amount on it than that of the second bill, a difference of only a few dollars, but unsettling nonetheless), I scoured Scott's bank account for a charge of the proper amount, as well as any unusual charges, and found none. I still have no idea what happened to this first attempt at payment.

Scott decided he would take the second bill and try to pay it over the phone. He called the number provided once, and got no answer. He called again, the next day, and after being on hold for a few minutes, was sent to a voicemail box. He left a message, and for a week received no call back. He called again, left another message, and again has received no call back.

I receieved a notice in the mail this week, saying that my balance was past due, and giving me the same instructions for payment (also, the amount of this bill is the same as the amount on the original bill; why they can't figure out how much I owe, I have no idea). This time, however, the phone number given had an extension number to call, as well as the name of someone in their "Reimbursement Department". I have tried calling her several times. Every time I call and enter her extension, the computer voice tells me that her extension is busy, to try another extension press 1 or to try her extension again press 3. Pressing 0 to get an operator does nothing, and there is no option to leave her a voicemail directly. It also gives the option to exit, which I tried, thinking it would take me back to the main menu...it doesn't, it terminates the phone call.

One might think that of all departments any company can have, the billing/reimbursement department would be the most efficient. I have now been trying to pay this bill for almost a month, and gotten nowhere. Damn.